I'm blogging about Brian Bear. He's the fucking shit but he doesn't really live in Richmond anymore. He moved to a town called New Jersey where he plans to work as a futureblogger, who pave the way for low-level bloggers like me and you, whoever you are.
The problem with blogs in general is that nobody reads them. I might as well be in a spaceship headed to the center of the sun writing on the inside of its hull about the trials and tribulations of Brian Fucking Bear.
Let me blog you something else about Brian the Fucking Bear. This motherfucker makes cartunes. It's like magic on the computer had a baby with Satan and it grew up to be a cartoonist who decided Richmond was not fucking rad enough and moved to Jersey. The town too cool to be called New.
It's a state, but we call it a town for all intents and purposes, those being to fuck with you for the purpose of obtaining your sympathy - for Brian. For, he is no longer with us now. He's up in Heaven. Jersey Heaven.
Please God help him guide his powerful hands along the Waacom tablet of freedom and into your good graces, Lord. Brian needs you now more than ever. More than we do.
Get fucked Lord, and please help Brian find his way into your heaven, or new jersey or whatever the fuck this is about.
Brian Bear.
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